This is an outage

Being veggie kinda sucks in many ways. I was thinking I might bin it, but my conscience seems to have developed to the point where I can’t now. What have I done?

I mean, it’s great eating lots of veg and making cool meals when you have the time, don’t get me wrong. It’s also saved me lots of money and after 3 months I feel good about the fact I’ve saved a few animal suffering episodes. But I’m piling on the weight and I’m getting really fed up with cheese. Was so looking forward to having a veggie sausage roll in the local soft play only to be told they’re not available and supposed to be off the menu. So cheese toastie it is then… šŸ˜¦

Is fine when you go to hipster indie joints or artisan coffee haunts, they have veg options a-plenty. But the local places have bugger all. I used to think the nearby breakfast van was amazing, now the only thing I can get is a roll and potato scone (with our without cheese). The last time I went they forgot the bloody scone, don’t think I’ve ever been so gutted.

In an attempt to stop eating shite when I get home late, I bought a bunch of frozen vegan meals from The above is their version of macaroni cheese, it uses cashew cream instead of dairy. It was… OK. Defo not going to solve my weight problem any time soon, that’s for sure. 


The good life

I’m back on track thanks to cranking up the middle-class on my ass. Last week I made celeriac remoulade, then I only went and ate it didn’t I? And it was bloody nice too. Then I did this! 


I picked plums off a fucking tree in my garden and I made chutney! Like a pure forager or something! Very nice. Nobody else in the house will eat it though so I’ll need to start giving it away to peeps in the street or my teeth will rot. 

Ooh, and I finally cooked seitan too. It was ok, not as nice as tofu though. 

Seitan fajitas

Now that I’ve decided it’s ok to eat meat now and again if I want and if it’s ethical I don’t really want to anymore. Bloody brain. We were out at Jamie’s Italian at the weekend and seeing as he’s so bloody ethical (they don’t even sell proper Coke as it’s “against Jamie’s ethos” aargh) I tried a bit of Mark’s pork schnitzel. It was rank. Shite, I’m proper veggie! 

Getting harderĀ 

I’m not feeling much enthusiasm for this whole veggie thing just now. Maybe it was my first brush with veggie bacon (ew), maybe it’s my time of the month, or maybe it’s the fact I cheated by having the lamb main in a posh restaurant for my husband’s birthday. Whatever it is, I’m no longer convinced I’ll be able to keep this up, despite no more slip-ups since then. 

Smoked tofu salad

I’ve also run out of inspiration on the cooking front, the last few things I’ve made have been a bit rubbish. Who eats tofu in a salad?!? I don’t want to be that person. 

One option I’ve considered is to allow myself one cheat a month. That way my dreams of posh burgers and currywurst wouldn’t hurt as much, and I could still be smug 97% of the time. I think I might try this, but it might just end up with me losing motivation and cheating more and more… 

Or maybe I should just read the Deliciously Ella book I bought rather than letting it sit there gathering dust. 

Post-humous events

In what is possibly the most middle-class predicament I’ve ever found myself in, sainsburys have stopped selling taramasalata. It seems to be to make room for about 20 types of houmous and pointless shite like fava bean dip. How can I live without my favourite protein source? 

Duck! Egg

Today I finally got round to visiting Cafe Strange Brew in Shawlands. It’s a great as everyone says, and cheaper than Tapa (mind you, so are most places). My other half wanted to go to the hot dog place across the road, but I couldn’t bear sitting across from him with a pretend dog while he ate one of my favourite pre-veggie snacks. Anyway, the pic above shows my brunch of a flatbread topped with houmous and fried aubergine with a duck egg and pomegranate seeds. All in all pretty tasty! I’ll defo be back. 

Getting enough protein is becoming easier now that I have peanut butter on toast for breakfast pretty much every day. I haven’t cooked any of the Wholefoods stuff yet, not sure whether to use it like meat or do something different with it yet… 

Hole feuds

Despite being huge and fairly middle class and expensive, our Sainsburys is shite for veggie food. It’s got a couple of Linda McCartney efforts, the usual Quorn bits and bobs and some silken tofu, but that’s it. To broaden my horizons I decided I had to take the plunge and go to Wholefoods.

Swordfish and tapenade on toast

I’ve only been twice before, it’s a bit of a crazy place. Insanely expensive and the staff stop stacking the shelves to ask how you are if you show the slightest signs of hesitation, which I find a bit creepy. I managed to avoid most of the super pricey items (Ā£5 for taramasalata!) be came home with tempeh, seitan, smoked tofu and loads of posh snacky things like lemon and poppyseed white chocolate. Spent a fortune though, I won’t be back in a hurry.

The pic above shows today’s Wholefoods feastage, pretty darned tasty and healthy to boot! Swordfish was strangely cheap so I bought a steak and cooked it on a grillpan alongside some fresh tapenade I bought in a tub and Asda tigerbread toast. Tapenade is basically all my favourite foods mushed together, lovely stuff.

I decided to eat outside in the garden for a change, little realising that wasps are partial to posh nosh too. Between the flying buggers attacking me and a nearby cat sniffing about I only lasted 5 minutes, that’s wussy vegetarians for you.

The colour purpleĀ 

Today’s edition of Seitan Calls comes to you from the colour purple. This veggie cooking lark is a doddle! Even when I’m not really trying I manage to make nice stuff, it’s a bit like when I started playing the uke and I could write half-decent tunes as I wasn’t used to the key. 

Puy: you

This looks pretty horrible on the plate but was super tasty (honest). Just boiled Puy lentils in veg buillion and mixed up chopped red onion and aubergine with some garam masala, lime pickle and a bit of oil then roasted in the oven for 20 min. Doddle! 

Putting on the beef

I’m not half piling the weight on since this veggie venture. I’m hungry all the time! Been eating lots of bread and crisps and thought it would be ok as I’m not having animal fats anymore. Turns out it’s not šŸ˜¦


This creation from the other night didn’t help, but it was tasty! Ravioli with toasted walnuts, broad beans and anchovies – mega yum. Now to find ways to combine yum without getting a huge bum… 

First big fail

I was on a break! So I gave in. At the breakfast buffet I saw all that meat and before I knew it there I was, back at the table and tucking into the holy trinity of sausage, bacon and black pudding. I didn’t really enjoy it. The rest of the trip I got back on track and felt much better for it. 

Cheese in a pudding! 

Gin cured salmon


I’ve never eaten the veggie options in a posh restaurant before (that would be mental) so was surprised how good they were. Didn’t feel like I was missing out at all, when my husband’s lamb arrived it didn’t look all that. 

I have to admit to being totally jealous of the kiddy burger my 3-year-old had yesterday though. He made me eat all the salad they’d thoughtlessly inserted between meat and bread so I could taste a bit of burger. Man it was good. 

Stay strong. 

First testĀ 

I’m on holiday! We arrived at Crieff Hydro today and it’s awesome. The food costs a fortune though and everything I’ve eaten so far has been a bit pish. Considering giving myself a few days off the veggie thing, if I’m going to spend Ā£60-odd quid on a meal I want something a bit better than tomato soup and tomato pasta. 

Having said all that, I kicked it out the park yesterday with this fish and tofu curry. It’s made me much more inventive on the cookery front and given me more incentive so would be a shame to give that up. Just hope I find something better on the menu tomorrow… 

Pizza: the action

I’m in a weird situation just now where I’m no longer quite as excited about being veggie and more like, so what can I eat? I went to the massive Sainsbury’s up the road from us, assuming they’d have a veggie section I’d previously never noticed. Instead they have half an aisle of horrible looking gluten-free dust, while non meat protein is relegated to a shelf of tofu under the tinned tomatoes and a fridge cabinet full of quorn. 

I’m still going though, no meat for 2 whole weeks! And I actually think I might never go back, which is a bit scary. 

Sweetcorn is evil

So this is today’s half-assed pescatarianism. A veg pizza with the sweetcorn painstakingly removed kernel by kernel, then capers, olives and anchovies added. Delish! But seriously guys, please stop adding sweetcorn to pizzas. We’re not children.